When Curtis first started in school he was oblivious to the need for friendships. Now 8, he has developed many friendships at school and is much more interested in seeing friends out of school.
Through trial and error we have learned a few things about autism and playdates. The high energy parts of the get together usually go smoothly. Jumping on a trampoline, utilizing a playground, or playing tag in the field are all activities that are comfortable for Curtis and his neurotypical play partner. The tough part was always when the action slowed down. How to help Curtis be his interesting, inquisitive, and funny self with his friend without the need for constant motion.

This past weekend, Curtis was feeling a little nervous about having a first playdate with a friend. He knew what playdates with his cousin and other friend were like from previous experience. Lots of fun, running, maybe some opportunistic mischief resulting from Curtis being easily coaxed into something he shouldn't be doing. This time however he was meeting up with his favorite math partner who doesn't have the same excitable energy of his usual playdates. Curtis was feeling some additional pressure this time around.
In anticipation of the playdate, Curtis was given a clear time parameter. The playdate would start at 9am and end at 11am. Rather than structure increments of time, Curt's mom Laura put an activity list on his desk that he could refer too:

Activities-Indoor
Legos
Trouble
Trash
Sorry
Uno
Hot Wheels
Whack a Mole
Bop It
Connect Four
Alphabet Game
Boat Building Set
Jenga
Operation
Paint/Draw

Have a Snack

Activities-Outdoor
Sidewalk Chalk
Playground
Razor Scooter Riding
Soccer

Curtis chose several activities from the indoor list before bouncing off the walls and letting us know he wanted to burn off some energy outside. We suggested he let his friend ride his scooter over and wear his helmet as a gesture he was willing to share and Curtis complied. It was clear this boy knew Curtis well. He complimented Curtis when he bragged of recent accomplishments like making his own PB&J and putting on his bike helmet by himself (without gagging on the strap). He also had no issue calling Curtis out when he made up a bogus safety during tag or attempted to gain an edge at other games. With a little direction, the boys hardly needed any guidance, except when Curtis stopped playing long enough to ask if a bee could fit inside his ear. We also occasionally reminded him to return questions like "what have you done this weekend" by asking his friend the same question in return.

As is typically the case with Curtis, a lot of preparation goes a long way.

Greg, Dad