It is now becoming easier to tell when Curtis is overstimulated by an event or an activity in school. During his kindergarten year, overstimulation looked much different - mostly due to his lack of verbal communication. He would often silently muster through a school activity only to later have a very emotional and sensory induced break down that would throw the rest of the school day off. It reached a point where I had to use the hallway and/or the back field as his classroom to keep his mind and body in a working place. He had not yet learned the link between an event, feeling overstimulated and how to register it all together inside the classroom. This a skill most kindergartners struggle with but for Curtis, his lack of ability to communicate was of particular concern and the area I focused on the most.

I remember he use to get very angry at me when we would sit down to do academics or when he was asked to work beyond his desired preference activity. Pulling him away from writing numbers in a row (his fall back choice when he was 5) and transitioning him into academics was very difficult to say the least. His body would be tightly wound up, his engine would be very fast and he would thrown things off my desk or zoom around the classroom trying to get away. I had to introduce a tool to Curtis that gave him both an outlet to release that energy and also have something in place where that release  could be matched with expressive words. The long term desire for this tool was to provide Curtis with the words that went with a feeling so while in school and communicating with teachers - his words could replace what his body was wanting to do (throw anything across the room and run as fast as he could out of the school).

An example of a learning tool that we did together to work on this goal during his kindergarten year was to go outside and toss a weighted ball back and forth to each other with certain dialogue in place. Each time we tossed it - we would shout out something that was making us angry. I would always start this "shouting" conversation so he had something to mirror and use as a role play to keep things appropriate.

"I'm so frustrated that it is Monday!"

I'm so angry that I can not see my family this weekend!

I am so frustrated that it might rain tomorrow!" -

all said with emphasis on the word frustrated.

And he would shout back with, "I'm so frustrated I have to be at school!

I am so frustrated that we do not have Art today!"  - and he would mirror back to me the emphasis on the word frustrated as well.

We would go back and forth for at least ten minutes with whatever was bothering us as we threw a weighted ball. I have written in past posts how the use of Relational Therapy goes hand in hand in my work with Curtis (and with this concept) - exposing ones own feelings, the client (student) naturally exposes their feelings and learns from both the support person and also from themselves through this relational concept. 

This relatively quick activity would help to release some energy, get his body tired, and also pave the road for being able to then (once inside without the weighted ball) have some words to go along with a transition or a moment that is upsetting him. Once his body was tired enough we would go back inside and  try the transition again but this time with certain words (being frustrated or being angry) in the forefront of him mind.

I have an image of Curtis that I will never forget from when he was in kindergarten, shortly after we came back inside from this activity. We were about to transition into a math lesson and he stops in the hallway, crosses his arms and says to me, "I am so frustrated with you Ms Barber! I don't want to do math!" . I praised him  for suppressing the desire to thrown anything on the floor or run out the door, but he did have to finish his math work. However, this time he at least had the sense of pride that comes along with effective communication.

For the remainder of his kindergarten year we did a lot of stomping our feet, tossing balls against the outside wall, ripping up paper and journaling - all while discussing whatever event was overstimulating to him. By the end of his first grade year he was able to put an action with a feeling much more verbally and also without all of the ripping, running, throwing, tossing or moving that went along with it in kindergarten.

Now in second grade, Curtis' vocab has progressed significantly. He uses sentences like, "I feel trapped in this room - I need a break"  or, "The room is always quiet for the first minute of an activity and than things get crazy. Can we get out of here?" or, "I learn better when things are quite - can we go to a different room." When Curtis shares these feelings I honor and listen to them. As much as it was my job to help form those words over the past few years, it is also now my job to listen to him and provide the support he needs now as a second grader whose voice is becoming louder and clearer with each day. As much I like to think that I lead the school day for him - he has started the process of leading the school day for himself. He is beginning to recognize when he is overstimulated and the ways he can cope with it.

Caron, 1:1 School Support

I introduced yet another "tool" to Curtis for him to put into his Coping Skills toolbox.  Any way I can eliminate my voice and my direction and still meet Curtis's needs is a good tool. This most recent addition is a menu of sorts that Curtis can chose from when he needs a break. The flip book is clearly called "What to do when I need a break". He wears it around the school like a bracelet and anytime his body, brain or emotions are feeling as if he needs a break - he is learning to flip threw his options rather than ask me first. The options in the book include:

1) Taking a walk around the school with Ms Barber.

2) Grabbing a snack and sitting in the quiet space while he eats it.

3) Taking a walk to the schools water fountain with a friend and getting some water.

4) Journaling in his self-time journal at his desk for 2 minutes.

This form of self-directed soothing is vital to his long-term goal of reduced 1:1 support. I can read his body language, his facial expressions and his energy like the back of hand at this point in our working relationship but there will be day when I am not working so closely with him. It is crucial that he knows what to do when he needs a break and how to get through stressful situations calmly and in a way that will benefit himself and his environment.

The work with Curtis is filled with focused baby steps - he is slowly getting to a place where his voice is getting more and more defined and his needs are getting better met by either himself or from his peers. My work with him is still vital in his growth but as a fellow teacher put it yesterday (at its best) while she passed by him in the hall she said, "Curtis - I have noticed such growth in you over the past three years. Your hard work has really paid off! Good Job!"

Caron, 1:1 School Support

This blog from psychologytoday.com explains some non-typical, or as we call them with Curtis, "unexpected" behaviors, from people on the spectrum. Sensory overloads caused by crowd noise, bright lights, sudden loud sounds, sensitivity to touch, etc. result in behaviors that can be tough to witness and difficult to correct. Time and patience go a long way and it's a learning process for the child and parent. Here are some of the behaviors mentioned that immediately reminded me of Curt.

1.) Supermarket floor tantrums: These were pretty embarrassing to be sure but it was cool to read this as an item on a list. I hadn't made the connection that this behavior was common with autistic children, I thought maybe it was a Curtis specialty. These happened frequently enough when he was younger where Laura and I would try not to bring him into a grocery store if we could help it. I think at the time I assumed it was something he just had to get used too. In hindsight, the fluorescent lights and noise may have just been too much to handle when he was very young. His main goal in any grocery store once he could walk was to free himself so he could sprint down the aisles. When he wasn't allowed too a tantrum was likely not far behind. If he did break free, you never saw a happier kid in your life as he ran down the aisle.

2.) Haircuts- When Curt was younger it was just easier to let his hair grow long. He was very sensitive to getting it cut and a pair of clippers was out of the question. Actually, clippers are still out of the question. I think we've only done that once.  Having his hair pulled and cut at the same time there is a buzzing sound in his ear proves too much to handle and we respect that. We have turned a trip to Snip-Its into an event and though sometimes apprehensive, he's willing to do it.

3.) Classroom Focus- The blog mentions the difficulty for some children on the spectrum to copy down homework and simultaneously listen to a teacher's instructions. This is just one of many reasons Curtis is helped by having an ed tech in the classroom. He has not yet developed that ability to handle two tasks like this at once. On his own, An entire school day would be lost for him in the first 10 minutes as he missed one crucial instruction while paying attention to another. Being able to pay attention to two things at once is something we constantly work on with Curtis and is a huge goal in mainstreaming him in school.

What I found most interesting about that blog was the comments. One in particular from a teenager with autism and others discussing the topic. As "neurotypicals", our focus can be to try and change the way kids on the spectrum are doing things and try to get them to execute a script. The comments express that it's not always this easy. Even for a person on the spectrum who has been taught a script, the over stimulation of a situation can force all that out the window. Any one of us can relate to not doing what we're supposed to do even if we know what we're supposed to do because of a situation we're presented with. As a parent or teacher, all we can do is be patient and try to help them with what they are going through because we don't know what that type of over stimulation feels like. Their experience is very different than ours, always has been, and always will be. In many ways, it's unrealistic to expect someone whose brain is wired differently to conform to our ways of thinking. All we can really do is help them.

Greg, Dad