Curtis and I are on the brink of our third year together, tackling both the successes and the struggles that public school throws the way of children with autism. We have had our fair share of success and struggle, among them has been having my position get cut every spring due to myself being a "new" hire in the district. Because so much of his success at school comes from our solid relationship -  this news always throws us for a loop in the last week of school. However, it also gives me a very clear reality check on both the fragility of my position and my work with Curtis. Thankfully, over the past two summers I have been re-hired after a great deal of advocating from Greg and Laura, the school I work for, and the simple fact that the district can not do without an IEP position, especially one that has been so successful. I am humbled to say the least and always enter the following year with more fuel in my fire. What happens in the spring is, inevitably, very fresh in my mind the following fall.

I was taught in grad school that its the ultimate goal in working with my clients to "release" them some day - ultimately I want to work myself out of a job. This was told to me when I was in getting my MSW and training to be a counselor, however I take this advice to heart every day with Curtis. This may seem odd at first to hear but there is a beauty to letting go that is very powerful when working with kids. While I love Curtis inside and out, I also want him to not need me some day. I want him to have the tools inside himself to navigate the school hallways and classrooms with more independence and self-confidence. I want his friends and his peers to do my job and I want Curtis to feel as comfortable with his friends (or perhaps just one) as he does with me. I want Curtis to be proud of exactly who he is and I want him to shine with uninhibited happiness. We are almost there - little by little - and it is quite a sight to see and experience. Having my position cut every spring reminds me of this goal and makes me work that much harder to get him there the following fall.

However until that "letting go" moment arrives I will still be outside the school waiting for him as Greg drops him off in the morning. I will still be with him every minute of the school day either front-loading or pulling back when needed. I will challenge and support him, I will accept him as is and I will wish him a good night once Laura is there to pick him up at the end of the day. Curtis will have his daily targets that he needs to meet. He will have his rewards to earn, he will have his social groups, he will have his advanced math and reading groups and he will have moments in the day that throw him for loops and frustrate him.

A seven hour day with Curtis can be jammed packed. One day last year, I had him out in the hallway doing math that was a few years ahead of his class and a veteran teacher came up to me and said, "I think Curtis is the hardest working student in this school." I thanked her very much for the compliment but asked her if she would tell that to Curtis. Once she did - Curtis' eyes widened up,  he looked at me and smiled and then looked back at her with this look that could have said "Well, what else would I be doing here?" Curtis may think he comes to school to simply meet his targets and get his reward but there is something else going on underneath all of that that I am so lucky to witness every day. I truly can not wait to see him walk up the sidewalk on September 6th.

Caron, 1:1 School Support

Curtis is thoroughly enjoying his summer. He can also tell you how many days are left until school starts in an instant. 35 days left was the answer when I asked him today. He doesn't seem especially nervous yet and he keeps track of all kinds of things concurrently so I give no special significance to him keeping the countdown. Nevertheless, there will be plenty of reasons for his anxiety to grow as the school year nears and I expect it will. Though ultimately I expect he will be more excited than nervous. But nervous. His is missing many of the crutches, like his "BFF", who elevated his excitement about going to school.

I came across this article on LinkedIn today. It gives good advice for any parents sending kids back to school and also touches on areas I expect to cause the most anxiety for Curt. A new teacher is going to be a big adjustment. There's always that feeling out/breaking in period with Curtis and it can last a long time even with someone whom he has near daily exposure. He will have to get used to a new classroom, classmates, new cliques, a new seat, a new morning routine in the class, and likely new expectations. All things that Curtis could battle with but undoubtedly conquer. From our end, we will extenuate the positives. He will love shopping for school supplies with his mom shortly. When the school year starts, dad will still walk him to school and Caron will still be front loading his day to make him feel him feel as safe as possible. And mom will still be there to pick him up at 3 when the school day ends. Accentuating the familiar aspects of going to school serve as an armor for Curtis to take on the "unexpected" aspects of any school day and we try to keep as many of these familiar things going as we can. We will have many conversations with him about any 2nd grade anxieties I'm sure but first, there is still plenty of summer.

Greg, Dad