By definition, A developmental delay is any serious lag in a child's physical, cognitive, behavioral, emotional, or social development in comparison norms for specific ages. The most common delays are children not crawling, walking, talking, etc. by a certain age. Global delays indicate a lag in all developmental areas.

Curtis' delays have taken a number of shapes and forms. His speech was very delayed, rarely speaking until about 3 years old, and he is still learning some of the basics when it comes to interacting with people and understanding feelings. There have also been a number of other cognitive and sensory delays. However, there are also a number of delays that no one would ever notice except those closest to him and they are often the most interesting.

For instance, Curtis could not process his sense of smell until he was about 7 and a half years old. He seemed to have no frame of reference for what something smelled like and it's rather difficult to explain the interpretation of a sense to a child. Out of the blue, about 8months ago he started to relate smells. It began with him recognizing the smell of pizza as pizza and realizing he knew the smell. He immediately began to relate other smells and realizing he knew what watermelon, popcorn, and pickles smelled like. It was a big deal for him and us. I often wondered if he was going to go through life never knowing what anything smelled like.

Last week on our way to Connecticut to see family, Curtis winked at me. This was something he had previously practiced to no avail. He was very proud of himself as he had been trying to figure out how to get his face to wink for months. All he had been able to do prior was shut both eyes and open them and would get frustrated that I could wink at him easily.

Today, he took a piece of scotch tape and rolled it up with his fingers like you would to hang a picture from its back. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was a huge deal for Curtis who previously deferred to an adult to roll him tape for him. All prior attempts had ended in frustration. There are other delays that continue. There are bigger ones like butt wiping and teeth brushing that he needs help with. Others like tying shoes and riding a bike, where he isn't too far being his peers but he isn't that close to getting them right either. But with every conquered delay his confidence increases. As parents and caretakers, every time he is frustrated by a delay we remind him of the large number of delays he has already overcome. And how we'll be there with him every step of the way to conquer the rest of them.

Greg, Dad

The Ruel family just returned from a great vacation, our first real family vacation, and I'll write about that soon, but first there is something far more important to share. Curtis wiped his own ass.
According to Yahoo! answers, kids typically conquer butt wiping somewhere in the 2.5-4 year old range. I envy those parents of typically developing children who had such a temporary butt wiping assignment. For us, butt wiping started on January 8, 2004, and was still going on as of last night before bed. Usual toilet time starts with Curtis exclaiming, "I need some privacy" and a little while later, "Okay, I'm ready now". This is when we enter the bathroom and help him to wipe his butt while he decides what animal or artifact his excrement most resembles.
This morning, I heard a door open upstairs and the bathroom door closed shortly after not knowing if it was Curt or Laura going in. About 10 minutes later, Curtis came down the stairs and proudly exclaimed, "Dad, I wiped my own butt!" At 7 and a half years old, this was music to my ears and took place not a moment too soon.
We have worked with Curtis on butt wiping numerous times but something about the responsibility just wasn't working out for him. On the scale of developmental delays, I have to admit, this one peaked the frustration meter more than most others but it's tough to throw down the gauntlet. Curtis would just turn it around and tell everyone he saw that he took a poop and no one wiped his butt over immense laughter had we gone that route.
If you give Curtis three articles of clothing, say a t-shirt, shorts, and underwear, at least one of those is going on backwards. This is delay that can be cute, that we can live with, and talking to a mom of an autistic 25 year old, I learned this behavior can continue for years and years and we may just have to live with correcting him on it. But I really hoped that light of un-assisted ass wiping would go off soon and this morning, unprompted, it did. I share this not to embarrass Curtis, who luckily is not embarrassed by such details, but out of pride that Curtis tackled another major developmental delay. To celebrate, we got hash browns at Dunkin Donuts. I'm guessing those will afford him another opportunity to practice those butt wiping skills in about 30 minutes. So congrats to you, Curtis. You wiped your own ass!

Greg, Dad