Curtis has discovered a new favorite song, "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga.  I have never been a fan, but one of the great things about Curtis' frequent interactions with other adults is that he is exposed to a variety of things that Greg and I may not expose him to.  So when Jamie let him hear this very appropriate song in her car, he started singing it everywhere, and he hasn't stopped yet.

The more I listen, the more I realize that this song has a lot to do with Curtis.  I often have people ask me what I think about vaccines and autism, and I always tell them Curtis was "born this way."  He was a very fussy baby, requiring constant motion and constant feeding.  He never went more than 2 hours without a feeding, and this included overnight.  Greg and I spent countless hours walking up and down the hallway with him in our arms to keep him from crying and I would watch TV on an exercise ball to keep him bouncing.  It was exhausting to say the least.  We didn't even feel comfortable leaving him with family for a couple hours when he was a newborn because he was so high maintenance and he would cry the whole time.  In hindsight, all of those hours of crying were related to a dis-regulated sensory system, something that is part of his autism and adhd.  So now when people ask if he got autism from vaccines, I can say with confidence that was not the case.

Aside from literally being "born this way" Curtis also embodies the chorus of the song:

"I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way."

He's literally beautiful on the outside, but what comes from inside of him is pure and brilliant and something I wish we all possessed.  And, although Greg and I are not church goers, we have always believed that God gave us Curtis for a reason.  He was created as this person and given to us as parents with a specific purpose in mind.  Now that we're through the really hard parts of autism (and trust me, I never thought we'd get through it), I don't think I'd want a "cure" even if there was one.  Autism is part of who Curtis is.  It makes him...well...Curtis, which means he is on the right track.  We are not trying to make Curtis "normal" because he IS normal.  He just needs to know how to be himself in a world that doesn't always know how to react to him.  He is so lucky to be surrounded by people who don't want to change him, but rather want to prepare him for what lies ahead.  That approach makes for a happy, successful kid!

Laura, Mom

When Curtis was first diagnosed, I felt like I was thrown into a tornado.  Everywhere we turned there was some magical cure or a stranger offering unsolicited advice about how to help our son.  Add to that the mental strain of accepting a life that is completely different from what we had planned and the challenge of trying to keep Curtis alive (see the many posts about how he spent countless hours trying to get hit by a car) and I became very irritable when everyone I encountered told me about the gluten free diet.  Here's the thing:  every family will take their own path in treating (not curing...there is NO CURE, despite what Jenny McCarthy says) autism.  Some find great success with gluten free diets, vitamin b12 injections, chelation therapy, and a variety of other methods that are not research-based.  Guess what?  I don't love my kid any less than those who try alternative therapies.  I didn't keep gluten in his diet because it was too hard or too expensive and I didn't skip the therapeutic listening that one occupational therapist suggested to us because I didn't want him to improve.  We, as a family, were seeing outstanding results from the therapies he was receiving and opted to stick with the research-based interventions.

(There was one time we took him to a "speech therapist" who was doing this alternative therapy that helped calm children and increase attention.  The therapy required Curtis to sit in a chair and click a computer mouse to a rhythm.  He repeatedly tried to bolt out of the room and then threw the mouse at the computer.  We were politely asked not to come back.  What we realized later is that the therapy itself required Curtis to possess the very skill we were bringing him there to learn, so it really made no sense at all.  But we had a good laugh thinking about that poor woman trying to keep our kid still for an hour:)

I am completely in favor of every family doing what works for them, but I have to say after a couple of months of listening to every idiot on the street tell me Jenny McCarthy cured her son with a gluten free diet, I was ready to punch the next person who said it to me.  Anyone who has lived with autism, whether they choose a gluten free diet or not, knows that you can treat the symptoms, but you can not cure autism.  Greg and I have met many families who swear by alternative therapies just as much as we swear by early intervention, and that is awesome.  We had a child who wouldn't eat anything other than goldfish, chicken nuggets, and applesauce until he was about 4 years old, and cutting him off of goldfish and chicken nuggets would mean a slow and painful death.  By the time he expanded his food repertoire, he had shown such outstanding progress without dietary interventions, we chose to stay on that path.

So the moral of this little post is:  We all love our kids and we all choose different interventions for different reasons.  Don't pass judgement, because the road we travel is one we draw for ourselves.  There is no map for families living with autism and we are just trying to do what's best for our kids.  So when you see the gluten-free kiddo at a party, don't think its no big deal to give him a piece of cake, because it IS a big deal, and when you hear we let Curtis eat all the crackers he can handle, don't tell us we shouldn't, because you might be the unlucky one who drives me over the edge.  (Just kidding....or am I?)

Laura, Mom