This is a photo of Curtis and his great uncle and a fair representation of any time we would ask Curt to pose for a picture until just recently. Notice him leaping from his uncle's lap. This one is at about age 4, Curt's prime time for "I don't care what kind of picture you want, I refuse to sit still for 5 seconds and allow you to take it." A common theme through Curtis' early childhood and even now is that desire to avoid anything that isn't standard or predictable. Like a fear of not understanding why he's being asked to do something and then instantly rebelling against it. Pictures always fell into this category so if we wanted a photo of Curtis with family or friends, we had to be quick with the camera and we only got one shot at it. And then he ends up looking like a hostage in the pictures anyway.

Recently, he's been more willing to have his picture taken though really only for quick candids. He still is not a fan of posing for a picture when asked. We haven't yet dared book a session for a family photo since we originally tried when Curtis was a toddler. We abandoned that session after a half hour when we couldn't keep him still long enough to snap one photo. I felt bad for the photographer but this is life with Curtis. Sometimes you take it on the chin.

Things that have worked getting Curtis more used to taking pictures were first, cutting deals with him. Curtis has been much more willing to take a picture if he'll be rewarded in some small way. He may not fully understand the reason behind smiling for a picture or why anyone would do it, but he does understand fulfilling the request if there's a benefit to him. For school pictures, seeing all his friends getting their pictures taken helped normalize the situation for Curtis and make him more at ease about picture taking. I think he needed to see it wasn't just happening to him. And Caron probably cut some additional deals with him on those days to get him to pose. Putting Curtis on the other side of the camera had also helped. He often carries around a resilient kids camera now in addition to snapping some photos of Nickelodeon and stuff animals with our camera.


Greg, Dad

Curtis was delayed in several areas as a toddler but walking and running were not among such delays. He walked at 10 months, was running at 12 months and full on sprinting by 15 months. I believe he sprinted from 15 months old until about 9 months ago, straight. He wouldn't get winded, was rarely deterred, and tried to run in any and all public situations. Drug stores were a favorite because he loved sprinted and hugging the aisles as he run on the occasion he broke away. I would take him to a small revine where kids would swim when he was 4 and 5 and we would spend the whole time running laps around the park. Curt's love of water couldn't get him in there among the 15 or so other kids who were splashing water on each other.

I never really minded the running, it was the nature of some of the running that just flat kept me up at night. While Curtis was aware that cars were dangerous he had no fear of them at all. Or bodies of water, or balconies, or anything else that could end his existence. What do you do when your child doesn't respect his own mortality? He seemingly took pride in trying to run away from us and into traffic and this went on until about age 5 when he fell in love with sidewalk chalk. One time when he was 4 I had to almost knock a woman over to catch him in the concourse of a baseball stadium when he broke away from me. He would do this thing where he'd get a little distance on you, shoot you a smile over he shoulder, and kick it into 5th gear. He didn't run so much as glide and it was always effortless. That incident and a recurring nightmare of him running into the path of a moving vehicle still serve as the boilerplate for any anxiety nightmare I may occasionally have.

At a 40th birthday picnic when Curtis was about 5, a friends sister in law saw me chasing Curtis and promised me one day the running would slow. I told her that was nice of her to say but that I didn't believe it. Not only would he not stop running but he'd run straight into his demise just to prove to me that he could. Well, he's 7 now and the running has indeed slowed. He respects cars now (though he still forgets to look when crossing the street), and he has a sense of his own mortality. However, the only thing to do until he slowed down was to stay on top of him every waking second and repeatedly explain the consequences of kamikaze living until he figured it out. As is the general rule with Curtis, it's a shitload of work that is worth every second.

Greg, Dad


I feel confident saying the first 18 months I worked with Curtis my primary goal each day was simply to keep him alive.  Before I met Curtis, his mother cautioned me that he was a bolter and that he was quite fast.  I felt confident with my past experience that this would be no big deal. In fact, Curtis took bolting to a level I had not previously seen.  As Greg wrote, Curtis would simply look over his shoulder, smirk and take off as fast as he could with no regard for collisions of any kind.  While today he no longer bolts, he still loves to run and his body seemingly requires it.  There are few things he enjoys more than a game of tag.  Curtis has learned over time when it's okay to run, be chased, and how to ask for these things.  We are fortunate enough to be in close proximity to a playground that is fully fenced in and this was a great place to take him and teach him how to ask to be chased.  When he took off running, because we were securely fenced in, I didn’t go after him unless he asked me. Once he mastered the fenced in running we moved on to trails.  Curtis would take off running on trails he knew well and ask me to come after him, eventually alerting me instead of just running. He also looked at some online coloring pages about street safety, his favorite being “Don’t stop in the street.”  Slowly but surely Curtis has calmed down and does not bolt at all anymore, not to say I ever let him get out of arms reach.  I was lucky enough to be at his house the day that he looked at his mom and asked, “Mom can we take the locks off the doors?”  Both exit doors had covers on them so that Curtis couldn’t open them simply because he would be out the front door if you turned your head.  Laura did remove the door locks that day and you could see the pride in both of their faces as she did this.  We now work on more functional safe walking, i.e., using crosswalks and waiting for walk signals.  It can be difficult to wait for a walk signal while it is clearly safe to cross, but Curtis is not ready to make that judgment without that little flashing light so I meet him at his ability and we continue to build. With patience, slowly but surely, Curtis always meets the goals set for him.


Jamie, In-Home Support