Following up on the issue of bullying and autism is this article from time

Standout excerpts include

*In the study, about 46% of autistic children in middle and high school told their parents they were victimized at school within the previous year, compared with just over 10% of children in the general population.

*Many people with autism have trouble recognizing social cues, which makes them awkward around others. They also often engage in repetitive behaviors and tend to be hypersensitive to environmental stimuli, all of which makes kids with the disorder ripe targets for bullies who home in on difference and enjoy aggravating their victims.

*the highest functioning children in the current study were at greatest risk of being bullied. While their social awkwardness was more obvious because they actually interacted more with mainstream peers, this made their actual disability less visible, likely making their condition harder for their peers to understand. Children with autism who could speak well, for example, were three times more likely to be bullied than those whose conversational ability was limited or absent.

*Further, those who were mainly educated in mainstream classrooms were almost three times more likely to be bullied than those who spent most of their time in special education.

*In order to report being bullied, you need to understand when you're being targeted, for example; in contrast, you also need to understand and effectively deploy harassing social information in order to be a bully — things that autistic children generally cannot do.

*"I think of bullying as systematic manipulation. But [autistic children] are so candid, they're typically not capable of that kind of forethought and malice."

*Impaired language skills and inability to read social cues also mean that many autistic children are bullied without ever realizing it or being able to report it. Riley-Hall recalled an incident involving her daughter in elementary school. "Little boys were getting her to say dirty words and laughing at her. She thought this was a good thing and that they were being friendly, but they were really making fun of her," she says, describing how another girl, who knew it was wrong, told the teacher. But until the classmate reported it, Riley-Hall had no idea that her daughter was being bullied.

* But despite efforts to encourage inclusion, acceptance of students with disabilities remains low overall. "There's still a sense that they are not as fully human as other people," says Riley-Hall. Another factor that often leads to exclusion and derision is fear. "We have many generations who have had no personal experience with people with special needs, and they fear them," Riley-Hall notes. "They pass that ignorance on to their children."


Okay, so that's most of the article. It seems that despite our best efforts as caregivers, a child like Curtis, high functioning and integrated into a regular classroom, is highly likely to be bullied. For now, his community is mostly welcoming, but there is that fear of what life will be like when he doesn't have an adult around. We all know there are kids looking for an reason to bully and the social awkwardness of autism, while charming to many of us, are fodder for abuse for your average school bully.

I've seen first hand the example of getting a child with autism to swear because they'll just do it. I've seen this play out with Curtis where he thinks he's being included but he's actually being used. I haven't seen a lot of it, but the potential for that sort of thing is always there. And despite our best efforts to have our kids included, it's a long uphill better to get the other kids to see kids on the spectrum as equals.

Greg, Dad

This is how Curtis coped with an unexpected schedule interruption last week. By throwing his baggie of pretzels on the ground, "hiding" himself with a turned over table and retreating to the comfort of a multiplication poster he has already memorized. He didn't flip the table in a rage or anything, rather this table closing him in the corner is his way of being alone.  Curtis  tends to take surprises personally, generally feeling betrayed by his caretaker at the time, and it takes some work to get him back on track. But generally he needs some solo processing time first.

In this case, he was surprised one morning to learn he would be doing some testing  with the special ed. director and that his trusted 1:1 would not be accompanying him. Ideally, we would prep him a day in advance with this type of news, letting him ask as many questions as he wanted,  but this time it didn't work out that way. You see how he took the news.

This is also one of those instances where I can see those who don't understand autism rolling their eyes. He's spoiled, coddled, etc. It's easy to say if you don't know or understand him and children like him. But those of us who know him know what's running through his head. What will this be like? What about what I was supposed to be doing at 10am? Is that pushed back or cancelled? When will I be done this exam? How does this effect the rest of my day? He is noticeably overwhelmed by such a situation and no one's judgement of his reaction changes his process one bit. To him, at that moment, the sky is falling.


Before his exam he was clingy, nervous, and angry. Once he got through the testing, Caron walked him around the school to discuss the testing, why it came as a surprise this time, and how the rest of the day would still go as planned. There would be no more surprises though a surprise can still happen at any time. He still had X, Y, and Z to look forward to on the day and everything would be fine. As his parents, we are just thankful he has someone he can trust to get him through these tough times so he can stay in school for the 90% of the time when he is engaged, productive, social, and happy.

Greg, Dad

A day in the life of Curtis at school never looks the same, no matter how much planning we have done as a team. This is a concept that we take on every morning with a calm awareness, preparing either for a choppy storm or a beautiful rainbow - really, either could occur between 8:30 and 3:00. The days always start out the same with Curtis working his way down his fifteen "target" behavior plan broken down academically, socially and behaviorally with expectation that I have formatted to match his classrooms plan and his own needs. For the first two years with him I had him "earning" his free time as long as he met his target - each target he meet a target, he earned 3 minutes towards his free time with the most earned amount of free time being 60 minutes total for the day. This year I decided to raise the bar with him, doing away with 1/2 of that free and taking away the "earning" component to his plan. Having the expected behaviors  be expected and the free time simply being there twice a day (11:45 - 12:00 and 2:45 - 3:00). At first thought this might seem counter productive for a child with Autism but I found that when Curtis was on a behavior plan where he had to "earn" his free time he would constantly be fixated on either earning it with flying colors or the complete opposite, being a rascal and testing the waters of forbidden detention. Once I got rid of the earning drive and he started to see that his free time was there every day, he started to just accept the day and the expectations. He is still getting use to this concept and and asks the same questions when he is tempted with doing the unexpected, "What will happen if I don't do this?" and I simple say, "Nothing. I know you will do this - you are in school and this is what you do" -  and he does. I have raised the bar this year for him behaviorally because I do want to pull back and have him stand on his own two feet with his classmates down the road. If Curtis is always doing something different in school, or earning something - he feels separate. Once he feels separate he tends to deviate from the expected school behaviors. This can be a downward spiral that is not fun for anyone.

This new spin on his plan is an internal struggle for me sometimes because there are so many things that I want to do with him individually, so many places I want to take him socially and emotionally that simply do not match with what a public school classroom can offer but I have to remind myself of my job, my role in that school and the ultimate goal for Curtis. It is a balance to meet and foster him as an individual but also keep the goal of allowing him to flow with his classroom on a daily basis. Curtis has met this new expectation head on and has succeeded. Back in kindergarten, Curtis use to make it in the classroom 30-40% of the day, now we are looking at Curtis being in the classroom 80% of the day and doing as the other students are doing, aside from his advance academic work we do - but even that is done in the room at my desk with the buzz of kids all around us. Yesterday was a day just like this and I made sure to tell him numerous times how proud I was of him for persevering in an environment that is a struggle. A big chunk of what I do is assist Curtis in being comfortable with the uncomfortable -  not everything is easy, predictable, planed out and/or happens at lighting speed. I would have failed at my job if I missed this crucial goal. Together, Curtis and I are learning how to sit in situation that are uncomfortable. I am pretty sure he comes home exhausted - that is a huge lesson for a seven year old to take on, autism or not.

Caron, 1:1 School Support