A little less that two weeks ago I attended my second Southern Maine Autism Conference in as many years. As a parent panel speaker last year, I certainly had more butterflies then than this time around.The conference for this year had more than 500 attendees and a waiting list for those who weren't able to beat others to the registration punch.

The keynote speaker at the conference was Deborah Lipsky, an international author with autism, and her fantastic speech is available here in its entirety. The conference included presentations on supporting individuals with Autism, teaching skills to those with Autism in the home setting, as well as managing meltdowns, building a resource toolbox, use of medications in Autism Spectrum Disorders, crisis prevention and intervention as well as others. Upcoming benefits promoted included the Ride for Autism on 9/15/12 presented by the Autism Society of Maine, the Woodfords Family Services 2nd Annual 5k run/walk for Autism on 5/5/12, and the 10th Annual Walk for Autism on 4/29/12 also presented by the Autism Society of Maine
 
There were also 42 exhibitors on hand and I had the pleasure of speaking to more than a few of them. I spoke at length with Heidi Bowden of the Maine Autism Alliance. A terrific organization located in Augusta, Maine which shares a like-minded philosophy of "celebrating the uniqueness of individuals on the Autism Spectrum and their families." Heidi was nice enough to call me the following day to praise this blog, especially Curt's artwork, and discuss her daughter Addie and the similarities she shares with Curtis. Her daughter draws Powerpuff Girls instead of 1-95. I also spoke with Kevin Sheridan of AspenCross, a provider of financial strategies for families of children with special needs. I'm looking forward to meeting with Kevin, who also has a young son on the spectrum,  and discussing ways of making sure there is something set aside for Curtis' care when his parents are no longer around, should he need that.

I also enjoyed meeting Jeremy Lucas of the Pine Tree Society and discussing "The Kids' Project. The program provides "affordable, high-quality adaptive equipment made with care by talented volunteer woodworkers and upholsterers." The Kids' Project adaptive equipment is comparable to top of the line items at 40-75% below commercial prices with proceeds going to children with special needs and I would advise checking out the amazing wood products they have for sale.  I also spoke to Dr. Christine Maguire from Scarborough Family Chiropractic about the potential benefits to those with autism of seeing a chiropractor. Namely, how the spinal column often needs adjustments for those with autism and many childhood ear infections as well as a lack of proper blood supply to the brain resulting from issues in the spinal column and nervous system. I plan to follow up with Dr. Maguire soon to discuss this more and possibly get Curt in for a visit.

There were also many useful handouts at the conference. LEARNS, the Center for Community Inclusion at UMaine supplied this handout

When Children Push Your Buttons...
Strategies for De-escalating Yourself

1.) Focus on concerns (safety/feelings) rather than pushing for solutions.
2.) Recognize "It's not about ME."
3.) Maintain a curious approach/ "What's really going on here?"
4.) Assume the best possible motive consistent with the facts.
5.) Is the child simply over-tired or stressed? Are you?
6.) Breathe/take a breather.
7.) Try to think like the child-get into his head.
8.) Think in terms of flexibility both for yourself and for the child.
9.) Take a mini-vacation by visualizing a place you'd rather be
10.) Develop some mental scripts

I would recommend checking into any and all of these organizations on their websites or facebook pages and thank these exhibitors and others for sharing their unique services.

Greg, Dad

I don't believe Curtis did anything particularly embarrassing on this Fryeburg Fair trip where he lost a tooth but I love the picture. I was on a parent panel at The Southern Maine Autism Conference earlier this year and one of the questions posed to the parents was what to do in the publicly embarrassing situations. Unfortunately there is no one size fits all answer for this one. While eyebrow raising outbursts are much more infrequent now we aren't too far removed from the days uncontrollable sobs in the grocery store or a refusal to leave the Thomas the Train table display at Toys R' Us without being carried out of the store.

I was always more prone to removing him from a situation and Laura was more intent on having him learn right from wrong. I got used to front loading my exits from stores. For example, finding the shortest line or pacing the area until something opened up. When Curtis was 3, 4, 5 years old it was barely realistic to expect him to wait in a line when his body was always telling him to move. While we both never intend to give in to him on a situation of expected behavior we are also careful not to disrupt the lives of those around us. That said, there are people who are going to glare no matter what. Your kid is acting up you must be a lousy parent, glare, feeling of superiority. I say let them have it. Curtis never cared what they thought and after a while neither did I. And "they" are the minority. Most people with common sense are going to realize there may be something a little extra going on here and express sympathy if anything.  My feeling is there is a time to stick it out and there is a time to carry them out of the store. I'm just glad I've always been a lot bigger than him.

Greg, Dad