This article is based on a recent study titled the “Prevalence and Correlates of Screen-Based Media Use Among Youths with Autism Spectrum Disorders,” published in the current issue of the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. The main theme of the article is that adolescents on the spectrum choose anti-social activities like video games and TV over things like e-mail and facebook. The finding isn't all that surprising in its conclusions and there have been any number of articles about children and adolescents on the spectrum loving the iPad. The first comment quickly addresses exactly what I was thinking while I read it:

"Julie Pennell says: January 27, 2012 at 12:41 PM I am wondering about a potential error in the data that was collected. The article describes video games as non-social, screen-based media. In the study, did the authors differentiate between games that are truly played in a solitary fashion (player vs the computer) from the Masive Multi-Player On-line (MMO) games? Speaking as the mother of a son who spends a lot of time “gaming”, I can report there is a huge social component to these MMOs. In order to be successful, a player must form alliances with other players to achieve higher level goals. If we are talking about teens and adults, the online gaming community is a potentially valuable source of companionship and camaraderie.

Email and chatting (which for the purposes of the study are defined as “socially interactive media”) are language based activities with which many people on the spectrum already have difficulty. I can see why the appeal isn’t very high.

Technology is constantly changing to allow higher and higher levels of collaboration amongst on-line gamers. Before we declare that all forms of online gaming are “socially passive”, let’s make sure we are accurate in our assessment of the subjects."

The game pictured, Monkeyquest, is one such game. It's pretty brilliant. Nickelodeon advertises this game endlessly through popular shows like iCarly and Victorious. It's FREE, they say, which it is to a point. Then you have to buy 'Nickcash' to unlock the advanced levels and there's a shop where you buy things for your monkey like helmets and an eye patch and so on. It's become a reward and occasional bargaining tool for us. But like Julie is saying here there is a large social component to the game. Each kid has their own monkey and individual handle (Curtis is "Hugo Backhealer" ) and they congregate to go on missions and complete quests. You have to hook up with people of similar ability and there is a dialogue box to help each other and share information. As the kids play, other monkeys are running past them and you have the opportunity to talk to them or shake them down for their nickcash ( I've seen it).

From the article:

 “In future studies, we need to learn more about both positive and negative aspects of media use in children with ASD. We need to look for ways to capitalize on strengths and interests in screen-based technology.” Mazurek said.

Definitely all for capitalizing on the strengths and interests in the technology. Not so much worried about kids on the spectrum skipping the rigours of school gossip.


Greg, Dad 


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When Laura suggested Curtis play second grade basketball I thought the idea was a little crazy. Basketball in the second grade is hard enough for a typically developing child but I thought it was too soon to expect a kid with ASD to grasp the speed and complexity of the game. Passing, shooting, dribbling, all the back and forth mixed with high energy, yelling, clapping, etc. Seemed like it would be too overwhelming to Curtis. While the team sport ride has had its up and downs so far and the game moves fast enough to make Curt's head spin, he is doing just fine and having fun, as evidenced by the video above when he spotted me with a camera lat his game last week and decided to start performing yet another rendition of an unfortunate song that went viral on youtube a couple years ago.

Greg, Dad

I've been asked a couple times about the type of feedback we get on this site so here are a few of the comments/reactions that have come in outside the comment areas attached to the posts.

Email: MagnificentMindsToronto@gmail.com

Comment:  Hi There, FANTASTIC blog and resource. Feel free to check us out online at www.MagnificentMinds.ca We are a brand new ABA center in Toronto with a holistic approach to education. We seem to be on the same page! We also have a blog. Thanks for posting.

Email: jennifermerritt636@

Comment: My son James diagnosis is PDD NOS, he is 24 and I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for taking the time to share Curtis life and pics. You are wonderful parents. Jennifer

Shannon K.

11:24am Jan 19

Hi Laura,

I just wanted to thank you and Greg for writing your blog. Dylan was diagnosed with High Functioning Aspergers and ADHD this past summer. Something I guess we've always known but it became official this year which I'm sure you know is a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I hate that he's "labeled' but unfortunately it seems that without it services and supports are nonexistent. It's still a battle especially with our school district but like every other parent ,I'm sure, its one I gladly fight. Again just wanted to say thanks its comforting to read your posts and see how you guys approach different situations it has been a huge help to me!!!

In regards to basketball

Carla Butorac • Greg, Try giving your son a visual "procedure" for whatever it is he will be doing that answers these 4 questions: What do I have to do? How much of it do I have to do? When will this end? What will happen after this ends? You won't have to say anything and he won't have to say anything back.

Stephanie James • Greg, Another way to look at what happened with your son at basketball practice is that he was sensory overloaded and trying his very best to cope. Just as at school when it is important for parents to create an IEP team that works well with them and their child, understanding the child's unique needs, it is also important in everyday life for parents to create a team to help get their child's needs met at a daily, functional level. Then you, the parent, are not left trying to figure everything out while you are in the midst of it all. Since my daughter is no longer in school, I have involved over the years an OT, a cognitive behavior therapist, friends with grown kids with disabilities, a psychiatrist, her boss at work, my ex, a local support group of parents with grown kids with disabilities, her own friends.... (We rely on a Medicaid Waiver program and our county's mill level funding to pay for the professionals.) Knowing that I can call on them all (individually or as a group) when I am dealing with a behavioral issue and can't quite figure out what is going on, relieves me from always being "super mom" and to access other's advice and common sense.

So, re your son, you may want to observe what is happening when he is stressed at basketball games and take little steps around that. Maybe he is overwhelmed by too many directions from the coach; the coach may need to limit his language to certain familiar phrases your son will know and what he is supposed to do when he hears one of those few phrases; maybe find what moves on the court your son is good at and have the coach ensure that your son will participate only when he is able to do the moves = for positive reinforcement. But most of all engage the coach in getting to really know your son in a positive manner, initially limiting his time on the court right now only when he can be successful - and then build from there. The coach can be part of your and your son's functional, everyday living team.

Raising a child with autism is a life lesson in patience.  We practice patience when our children are throwing tantrums in public places and people stare, we are patient when our children take 20 minutes to put on their own coats, and we patiently wait for our kids to reach developmental milestones that they should have met months or years ago.  I remember feeling my heart sink when I saw the first set of evaluation results placing Curtis anywhere from the 6-9 month range up to 18 months in a variety of developmental areas.  This was so painful because Curtis was almost 3 years old at the time.

Curtis could not speak, he could not pretend play (if you handed him a cordless phone, he'd put it upside down on a table and spin it like a top instead of pretending to talk into it,) he could not use a spoon or an open cup, he could not go up and down a ladder (limiting his playground trips to running in circles at full speed,) and he had no desire to communicate with anyone, especially his peers.  His sensory system was completely disregulated, causing him to clear off bookshelves and tables because a clean surface was not visually overstimulating, and he would run at full speed constantly to calm himself.  He was terrified of swings and couldn't use a tricycle.  And this is just a list of the skills Curtis lacked at 3 years old off the top of my head.  I'm sure if I looked in an old data book from his early intervention program, this list would quadruple.

So why am I rambling on about the skills he lacked?  Because there is one skill in particular that society will pressure you into teaching a child who is over 3 years old, regardless of his actual ability to learn that skill:  POTTY TRAINING.  I spent countless months trying every way imaginable to potty train Curtis because I was embarrassed that my 3 (and eventually 4) year old child was in diapers.  I tried pull ups that got cold when he peed, a "potty watch" to remind him to go every half hour, and even put him in regular underwear hoping that if he we himself he'd be uncomfortable and this would motivate him.  Instead, he would wet himself and leave a puddle at his feet while he kept playing at his train table like nothing was wrong.  Looking back I realize how silly I was.  He had so very much to learn that was way more important than peeing and pooping in a toilet and every hour I spent fighting a losing battle with the potty could have been spent working on advancing a skill he was capable of learning.  After almost a year of trying, I put him back in diapers.  And then, one day, just a couple months before his 5th birthday, Curtis started to use the toilet.  We instantly went from diapers to big-boy underwear and had very few accidents.  We just had to wait for him to be ready.  Curtis was in fact developmentally delayed and his brain was not understanding his body's signals that it had to use a toilet, so he couldn't be potty trained until he could understand those sensations.

I wish there had been a parent who had "been there" to tell me to relax and not waste my time fighting the potty battle just because people disapproved of my 4 year old wearing diapers.  That time could have been so much better spent not fighting this no win battle with autism.  So now, here I am, three years later telling all of you parents of little kids on the spectrum not to worry.  Your kids will be ready to use the potty when they are ready.  It is worth a try every now and then to test the waters, but don't force it and don't waste precious time with your little ones forcing something that just isn't going to happen yet.  Toilet trai  will come (most likely before kindergarten) so don't stress out.

Laura, Mom

Curtis has discovered a new favorite song, "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga.  I have never been a fan, but one of the great things about Curtis' frequent interactions with other adults is that he is exposed to a variety of things that Greg and I may not expose him to.  So when Jamie let him hear this very appropriate song in her car, he started singing it everywhere, and he hasn't stopped yet.

The more I listen, the more I realize that this song has a lot to do with Curtis.  I often have people ask me what I think about vaccines and autism, and I always tell them Curtis was "born this way."  He was a very fussy baby, requiring constant motion and constant feeding.  He never went more than 2 hours without a feeding, and this included overnight.  Greg and I spent countless hours walking up and down the hallway with him in our arms to keep him from crying and I would watch TV on an exercise ball to keep him bouncing.  It was exhausting to say the least.  We didn't even feel comfortable leaving him with family for a couple hours when he was a newborn because he was so high maintenance and he would cry the whole time.  In hindsight, all of those hours of crying were related to a dis-regulated sensory system, something that is part of his autism and adhd.  So now when people ask if he got autism from vaccines, I can say with confidence that was not the case.

Aside from literally being "born this way" Curtis also embodies the chorus of the song:

"I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way."

He's literally beautiful on the outside, but what comes from inside of him is pure and brilliant and something I wish we all possessed.  And, although Greg and I are not church goers, we have always believed that God gave us Curtis for a reason.  He was created as this person and given to us as parents with a specific purpose in mind.  Now that we're through the really hard parts of autism (and trust me, I never thought we'd get through it), I don't think I'd want a "cure" even if there was one.  Autism is part of who Curtis is.  It makes him...well...Curtis, which means he is on the right track.  We are not trying to make Curtis "normal" because he IS normal.  He just needs to know how to be himself in a world that doesn't always know how to react to him.  He is so lucky to be surrounded by people who don't want to change him, but rather want to prepare him for what lies ahead.  That approach makes for a happy, successful kid!

Laura, Mom